Posts

My girlfriends' boyfriends

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Do you ever just get tired of repeating the same patterns in your life fully knowing how stupid and fucked up they are? Ok, I am SURE I am not the first non-hetero to have fallen for straight boys/men. God knows I survived 2 years of my high school by imagining Twilight to be my life. You remember that scene? When Bella is sitting for lunch and she sees Edward for the first time? When he enters? I used to re-live that scene again and again in my head, with Gaga's Starstruck playing in the back. Imagining one of my batch mates as Edward Cullen (lol, don't judge), only to be told, in reality, that I will never be his Bella :( Forever and always 💔 So the thing is that I DID stop wasting my time and efforts on straight boys, particularly post two very idiotic episodes in college. Long story short: I thought I was 'in love' with a boy who obviously didn't reciprocate. He started dating a good friend of mine and stupidly, in jealousy and out of million insecur...

'Paid' Desires

I think it started when I would start setting aside a bit of my monthly salary for a gay spa visit regularly. I wanted to shift from shared rooms, hurried blowjobs and bathing rituals under watchful eyes to familiarity of my own bed (or the convenience of not carrying lube). I met you on one of my spa visits. You could have been any other - I would have been one of many. For the first time, I had actually chosen the guy on phone and asked specifically for him. I didn't plan on having penetrative sex with you. We met, we talked, we liked each other?  I have bottomed for very few. Impulsively, I decided to do it for with you. I think in your life you come across some dicks, which not only fit just perfectly inside you, but make you feel like you could worship them. Suck them till your jaw starts hurting. Make them rest on your face while you gently caress them. Compare notes with them. Have picnics with them. Miss them when they are not around. Make you feel like that there i...

Kahani Thappad Ki - A Smack(y) Story

I was getting fucked. Hard. Bareback. His smell was pouring on to my face. His body towering over mine, I felt like my body's center of gravity wanted to leave me and just engulf him. I felt like my mouth was open but my body couldn't articulate how desperately it wanted for every inch to be felt. It felt like his dick would dissolve inside me. The warmth of his dick rose my body's heat. Whenever his dick would hit my prostate, I would simultaneously feel like shitting, peeing, and experience that numbness inside which made me want to just close my eyes, roll them backwards and scream OH FUCKING LORD. I had been told by him couple of times previously that he wanted to slap me. To tie me up and beat the shit out of me. I liked it. Who am I kidding. I fucking loved the idea of it. This time after I came, he asked if he could slap me. I agreed. He slapped me. He started slowly and then his hand hit hard against my cheek. My entire face felt red. Images of teachers slapping m...

Dear Eternal

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I remember I saw you the first time in a Youtube video. Just another celebrity crush I guess. I obsessed about you. I obsessed about going to Tihar and fantasized about meeting you as your lawyer. To see deep into your eyes, feel your (supposed) pain and touch you while quoting obscure penal sections on sedition. I imagined your deep husky voice wrapping me. After that my regular visits to JNU (Jawaharlal Nehru University) became……sexual visits to JNU. Random streets for me started acquiring intimacy. Silly administrative block steps became potential PDA spots. One afternoon, I finally saw you. I saw you lying down on a sofa, with your head on your girlfriend’s lap and I recalled countless boys I had fantasized about before and how their girlfriends were always the Komolika to my Kausauti Zindagi Ki. You casually looked up, saw me for one second and continued on with your life. The moment I left the room, I imagined how you would leave the room. You would think who that boy w...

Re-living Illusions

Since past few weeks I have been meaning to write a post about a problem of mine but something else happened and I am writing this now. If you have been kind (and patient) enough to read through this blog (I salute your decision to not throw away your laptop/computer screens), in the previous post I wrote about my first sexual experience with another person. Recently (let's call him) hook and I got in touch on facebook (translation: after stalking him repeatedly over days and sending him a friend request and then devising stupid ways to initiate a conversation with him) and started talking. He said that he has shifted to the same city as me and perhaps we should catch up sometime. Obviously, I said yes. Didn't even wait for him to finish the damn sentence before typing in YAAAS BITCH YAAAAAAASS.  Now, the last time I saw him was when I was in 9th grade. It has been 9 years since then. I think it wouldn't be honest of me to tell you, dear reader, that I handle my desi...

Unfinished Love Affairs

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Recently a friend of mine just stopped talking to me. And we know in this day and age, not talking is just not limited to literally NOT TALKING. It also means cutting you off on Whatsapp, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat (Yes, I use ALL these). Reason? I don't know. I am guessing it's because he got engaged? Another reason? He's not out about his sexuality? Another reason? We have fucked a lot? Another reason? He's had his tongue inside my ass a lot of times? Last time I met him was a couple of months ago. Now, I know you'll say what kind of hoe I am that I strut around the town with my friends licking my ass but let me just clarify that I don't do boundaries. (Lolz) I sometimes hook up with my friends and so far both (or more) parties are mature enough to not ruin the friendship.  But I am beginning to realize that maybe it is fucking things up. I met this guy almost 2 and a half years back. In a different city. We went out on a date. The date w...

Power of talking about Sex

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I am now writing my first post of 2016! Sorry for taking 4 months since writing my last post. I was going through a terrible job crisis (which I have now quit and feel incredibly happy about, so yay!) and was just not in the mood to write anything.  First of all, I don't know if I have mentioned this before or not but I am not anonymous anymore about DUG (Ugh, short form of my blog doesn't sound too cool, does it?). I have linked my instagram profile and twitter account to this blog. So I thought I would link both of those here as well. Second of all, it's been more than 5 years since I started writing this blog bitches! I am not ashamed of admitting that I had started writing my diary after watching the first episode of first season of The Vampire Diaries (yes, very lame but I am still watching the show and it has become very very painful) AND that I started writing this blog after watching Sex and the City (too bad I don't have fucking amazing deals like C...