A very desi (Indian) queer living in-between New Delhi and New York.
'underground' in the title because the blog was anonymous for a few years when I started writing it in 2010! My peak twink days when I lived in the delusion that I 'hid' my homo-ness well hehe
Hello guys! From what I have seen how people are so dedicated to their blogs, I fucking SUCK. And I was supposed to have a freaking cult following by now. Yeah...so...anyway.
Ok, don't get me wrong. I know the title of this piece really throws you off and suggests that I am hungry for some rich dick (Sigh. Aren't we all?) and am trying to fulfill some daddy issues via different means but in past few months I have really started giving it a thought. I know I would be generalizing a bit, but I have met/seen so many guys in their 30s-40s age group who repeatedly date guys my age (DON'T YOU DARE ASK ME MY AGE) and repeatedly fall out of relationship with them and yet keep repeating the process. I know it's a little bit ironic that I am calling guys my age them but please bear with me. But lord! Is it so wrong to have a sugar daddy? There's something about it! I don't know...I get this weird tingly feeling down there (read, a semi erection) whenever I think about moaning 'daddy' while getting fucked. I am so fucking tired of these guys who call themselves 'pure tops'. Shouldn't they know more about sex and technicalities of fucking if they claim to be pure top? I mean, one doesn't just put one finger inside another's ass and just proceed on to fucking shoving their dick inside! We are all not born with Johnny Rapid's ass! My hole is not perpetually ready for a fuck! But a daddy? Oh. No. They would not just take care about sex, but intimacy. They wouldn't care about these silly stupid categories of top and bottom. Ok, again, I know I am generalizing but I speak from experience. All daddies might not be good in bed....I can't believe I am doing this post! Aaaaa! But still I feel so giggly while I write this down. Haha! Being an over-analyzing shit that I am, I feel like I should make certain things clear.
1. I never had an abusive relationship with my father, which some people might argue may be the reason for me seeking out sugar daddy relationship. So don't give me that psychological theory crap.
2. I never called my father - 'daddy', I have always referred to him as 'papa'. (Now, that I think about it, THANK THE LORD that I didn't)
3. Age has never been an issue for me. In fact I hate guys my age. Is it just me or they just are so painfully vain and dumb and lack ambition!
Hey, I'am planning to start sugaring here in LA, after reading so many blogs and thinking about it for a while now, but I'm not so sure how to start, What would I write in the seeking arrangement descriptions? Should I use my real name for the whole process? Should I have my photos blurred out at first on the website?
To which our mentor for the site responds:
As far as the perfect profile goes you want to make sure that your profile is creative and it stands out. Make it sound like it's a letter directly towards him.
Golden words ya'all! This will sound really needy, but I am not really looking for an ultra rich guy who buys anything for me, but I like the idea of it. Fine, I am taking a low paying job because the career I am choosing will not pay me much, so where art thou daddy? Sheesh, I see what I have written till now and I feel so ashamed of myself. Again, praise the lord for anonymity! Don't worry, I am not changing my grindr profile description to a 'sugar baby' or something. Yuck! I just prefer guys above 27-28 and I look pretty young for my age which automatically puts me in that sort of stereotype. No seriously, I was on a date once and this policeman stopped us and whispered to me secretively, if "the guy was troubling me and holding me against my will". Anyway, hope things are going well at your side!
Everyone keeps talking about how great open relationship really is. Yes it is. In case you were wondering that this post was going to be me bitching about open relationships, it isn't. However, I do want to talk about what the most difficult part for me has been...being in an open relationship. It's been my tussle with figuring out intimacies. One thing that I have always been very clear in my head about before going into bed with anyone is that I can NOT get it up without being intimate with the other person. By intimacy I don't mean showering 'I love you's' or 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you' (thinking of which I have said 'I love you' to barely 5 people in my life) but requiring a minimum level of attachment with the other person. It could perhaps be me being attracted to the way he smells, or how intelligent he is, or good to talk to. I can not do anything without talking to the other person for some good time (which
I forget what year it was when we both found each other in that inconspicuous kitchen corner in Ejipura. I forget why I was visiting Bangalore/Bengaluru that night. My first job was shitty and barely paid me. So my only visits to Blore were when upper castes paid me to come tell them that upper castes are violent but the ones that paid for me to come to your city were not. Anyway, back to the kitchen corner. This time too, I had to pretend that I wasn't into you. Tiring, really. I was in a horrible relationship and was too afraid of being lonely. Took me years to realize that my loneliness had nothing to do with being lonely. And even more years to learn that I would rather be lonely alone than with a failed poet. Ok! Kitchen corner! I keep getting distracted. I was tired of my life, my job, my (then) boyfriend. You were with a boy who I think was in love with you? (Honestly, when are your lovers not!) Or atleast on his way to fall in love with you? Or maybe you were in love and he
I am now writing my first post of 2016! Sorry for taking 4 months since writing my last post. I was going through a terrible job crisis (which I have now quit and feel incredibly happy about, so yay!) and was just not in the mood to write anything. First of all, I don't know if I have mentioned this before or not but I am not anonymous anymore about DUG (Ugh, short form of my blog doesn't sound too cool, does it?). I have linked my instagram profile and twitter account to this blog. So I thought I would link both of those here as well. Second of all, it's been more than 5 years since I started writing this blog bitches! I am not ashamed of admitting that I had started writing my diary after watching the first episode of first season of The Vampire Diaries (yes, very lame but I am still watching the show and it has become very very painful) AND that I started writing this blog after watching Sex and the City (too bad I don't have fucking amazing deals like C